is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Even the bartender felt bad for me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
