I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i've created a new STD.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
