i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
