Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
