a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize