I didn't shave. On purpose
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
