My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
