spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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