As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you would pick up someone in the library
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
