Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
