Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
