batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
