Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
