peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
