yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize