What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize