he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
