**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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