Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
