Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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