She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
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