I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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