Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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