When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
