he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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