angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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