Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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