i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
