I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
This is my gift to your gina
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize