just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just want nice things and good sex
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
