So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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