We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
