thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I could fuck to npr.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
