i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
