It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
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