reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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