What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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