gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We had to coat check the pizza.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
