I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
