I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
