my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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