My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
