I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
