just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just found a bag of teeth...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
