So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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