Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
