You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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