I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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