I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
