yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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