We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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