That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
