I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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