you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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