I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
