Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
