I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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