You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm passing your future prison.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
