Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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